The weather has changed significantly, hasn't it? The mornings are colder... The days are shorter. All in all, a complete difference from the summer. With the change in weather, I'm starting to catch myself having flashbacks of last winter.
Today I listened to Kanye West's "808s & Heartbreak" for the first time in a very long time. Not because I was looking to hear it, but because it was there ...so I popped in the cd. I had listened to it a couple of times through the summer, but nothing felt like listening to it as it did today. the opening chords of "Welcome to heartbreak" paired up with the cold brush of air across my face in the morning was almost paralyzing. It completely took me back to last year. Most of the time it might just be a song that will remind you of a certain point in time or event in your life, but I'm referring to the entire album. Each song on this record has a moment attached to it in my memory bank. There were many nights that I would burn an entire tank of gas on this album. Fill up, and just go until I couldn't anymore.
Needless to say-when this album came out, I was going through a lot. The music was therapeutic. It helped. Every single record was something that I felt, and could relate to at the time. But then of course, Spring time came around... The cd had become just another album in the deck,only revisited for the occasional "See u in my nightmares" so I could scream at the top of my lungs "tell everybody that you know!!" ... And then right back into the case it would go.
The feeling was so intense this morning, I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I felt my stomach turn listening to "Bad News". This shit REALLY took me back. Like I could feel the cold air hitting my lungs walking out of that house in the mornings. I could smell the candles burning over the dinner tables. I could hear the doors slamming. I could hear the screaming, the arguements. Taste the infinite cups of starbucks coffee that the painful conversations flowed over.I could feel the dissaproval from friends and family over my poor judgement and generally fucked up decision making. Smell the christmas tree. . . That real.
Music. It has that effect on me.
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